Grrr... Arg...

Ah... Buffy. I think Talley may be the only one that understands that. Anywho, not a big fan of college thus far. My problems stem not from the classes or the obscene amount of reading they want me to do. In fact, I'm glad that they gave me all this work. It gives me something to do instead of count the bricks in my room, and don't think that I don't know how many there are, how many are on each side of the wall, and how many are placed between the windows. I know everything there is to know about the bricks in my wall. I could even draw you a relatively accurate picture of the entire room. Of course, I have an exceptionally good memory when it comes to pictures so that's no real feat. However, homework gives me something to do with my time. No, my dilemmas bloom from the weed that is dorm life. There's not enough space, I'm not a big fan of the fact that I can hardly see in my shower since half the lights in the bathroom are out, the peeling of paint on my bathroom door, the white, empty walls, no alone time, and being able to hear absolutely everything that my neighbors say. Rachel... I also miss being able to drive around aimlessly listening to music as loud as I want and singing as loud as I want. Of course, with gas prices as high as they are, I doubt my parents would want me to do that anyway. I miss being able to step onto the floor and not worry about how cold it's going to be. I miss being able to sit in front of my mirror to get ready for the day. I even miss being able to get ready the way that I used to. Now that I'm up there, I have to create a completely new pattern for day preparation. I miss eating. I pretty much don't do it anymore. I have to walk down four flights of stairs and then back up those stairs if I want to eat an actual meal, and most of the time it's just not that worth it to me. Friday I didn't eat at all, and then Saturday I didn't eat until 7:00 pm. My hair is beginning to fall out. I'm not sure if it's because of the stress, depression, lack of nutrients, or even because I've been using a different shampoo. I only know that I don't like it and I want it to stop. My only hope is looking to the future, realizing that I'll be used to it in a couple of months and everything will be fine.

My birthday is coming up on the 13th. Hooray! One of the few things that keeps my spirits up. I'm way too old. It's hard to believe that I'm already in college. Next year I won't even be a teenager. I doubt anything will happen on my birthday other than half my family calling. Maybe I'll have a joint party with Ashley's car, since it'll be returning this week. That would be neat. That reminds me that I have to buy it a present. I think maybe I'll just make it a card. We're going to throw it a surprise party. It's going to be awesome. It'll never see it coming... mostly because it's not a living creature.