Emo
I'm entitled to an emo post, right? I think so.
I feel... not good. Possibly bad in fact. Not physically like one would usually assume about me, but emotionally. I feel bad about who I am. I don't like the way I look physically, and there's nothing I can do about my face. I have a horrible figure. It doesn't look right. If it were up to me I'd change everything about it. Everything. I feel like I'm not good looking enough for people. And inadequate in more ways than just appearance. I try. I really do, but I just don't feel good enough. I don't feel deserving of what I have. I'm very grateful, but I feel undeserving. I don't think I'd be friends with me if I were other people. I don't think I'd even talk to me. I need to lose weight. You can't tell me I look fine. I have mirrors. I have pictures, which especially clue me in about my weight problem. I just... people tell me I look okay to be nice, but I actually believe it sometimes which just makes matters worse in the long run since I'll eat as though I'd be fine eating what I want, which just isn't the case. I don't feel right about anything anymore. The things that really bother me I can't do anything about. I just feel so powerless. Like a footnote. Exactly like a footnote. I feel pushed aside. I'm stuck at the bottom of the page, and no one notices me until it's convenient for them. I could come in handy one day when someone needs something. But that's all. I'm here for people's needs, but not thier wants. I'm more of a burden than an interest. I'll be handy.
I've got a day and a reason
Why I should not believe in... anything, anymore
What's this for?
My time well spent
I've got all these memories
That I cannot believe in... 'cause I don't know where I've been
All these years
All these years
And do you know this reason?
I hope that you can see it
'Cause I will not give up and,
We all know what you've done again
I can see right through you
You're making your way over again
3 Comments:
Julie, its not that bad. Really. You mean alot to me, and you more then just a footnote to me. I want you to know that you're beautiful and I feel underserving. You're really great and have been nothing but amazing. And I'm sorry about how you feel. I guess part of this is my fault. I shouldn't tempt you off your diet. I'm really sorry. But we can try that again and was can go run and work out and stuff. It'll be better! :)
You are beautiful. And I'm not saying that just because. I always thought you were very pretty.
As for feeling undeserving, well, aren't we all? In the overall context of things, we don't deserve anything. But we still get things, and we just have to accept that, and do our best to help others as well. I hope you remember that we people do care about you.
Julie, you're extremely beautiful, and, as many flaws as you may have, in the overall, you're a very good person. You're not, nor have you ever been fat, or or unpleasantly overweight. You're not a twig, but trust me on this, guys don't want twiggy girls. You're a good size, and you have a very vibrant and attractive face. Also, if you weren't a good person, worthy of friendship and admiration, would I still even care to make an attempt at being friends with you?
My standards are very high, I dislike most people, but, even after all we've been through,I still like and admire you as a person. James is right, he's a lucky guy, and he it's him that doesn't deserve you, just as I didn't deserve you, not the other way around.
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